AI Slop

In the year 2225, humanity has mastered teleportation, quantum messaging, and holographic dating. Long-distance relationships? Easy. Interplanetary romance? Common. Mars-to-Venus lovers? They break up not because of distance, but because of timezone drama.

But there’s one kind of relationship so rare, so exotic, that people can’t stop romanticizing it:

👉 Short-Distance Relationships (SDRs).

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Why Are SDRs Rare?

• Urban sprawl turned into interplanetary sprawl. Your “neighborhood” might be half a solar system away.
  
• People grew comfortable with light-year messaging apps and teleport-date vouchers.
  
• Cities on Earth are mostly nostalgia parks now, not living spaces.
  

So when two humans live just a few streets apart, the world gasps. It’s headline-worthy.

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Social Media Frenzy

Couples in SDRs often go viral. Imagine:
– A video titled “We walked to each other’s house… in 3 minutes!!!” gets 9.9M likes.
– Reaction comments like: “OMG TRUE LOVE EXISTS 😭😭”
– Couples collab on “short-distance POV” reels:
– Walking to a café without a teleport pass.
– Holding hands across the street instead of across planets.
– Meeting in person for the first time… after just swiping yesterday.

The intimacy of physical nearness is seen as revolutionary.

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Relationship Influencers

Some SDR couples milk it:
– “Nearfluencers” — influencers whose entire brand is bragging about living within walking distance.
– Merch drops: “I’m Only 2 Bus Stops Away 💕” shirts.
– Paid tutorials: “How to start your own short-distance romance (spoiler: good luck).”

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Cultural Narratives

• Short-distance relationships are framed like fairytales.
  
• Parents tell bedtime stories: “Once upon a time, your grandparents lived in the same district…”
  
• Documentaries air: “The Last Street-Walking Lovers of Kuala Lumpur.”
  

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The First Meeting

Picture this:
– Two people nervously film themselves approaching each other.
– Background music swells dramatically.
– They embrace awkwardly, like humans meeting aliens.
– Crowd cheers. Drones livestream it to billions.

Their captions? Always the same:
✨ “We didn’t need rockets, teleporters, or wormholes. Just a street crossing.” ✨

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Conclusion

By 2225, short-distance relationships aren’t just romances. They’re spectacles, aspirational lifestyles, and cultural treasures.

Because in a world where everyone’s everywhere… being right next door is the rarest love of all. 💘

Once upon a scroll, there was a user who posted long reflections like:
– “What is life, if not the algorithms we debug within ourselves?”
– “True friendship is like open-source software: freely shared, maintained with care, never behind a paywall.”
– *“STEM is not just science, technology, engineering, and math—it’s Seeking True Emotional Meaning.”*

Their posts were wordy, sincere, maybe even a little dramatic—but never clickbait.

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The Moderator’s Verdict

Then came the inevitable notification:

“Oh sorry, we need to remove this content because it’s self-promotion. So, sorry, we need to remove.”

Self-promotion, they said. Too reflective. Too you.

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Meanwhile, On the Same Platform...

Right below, the feed was filled with:

• Beautiful people lip-syncing to three seconds of audio.
  
• Influencers pointing at captions that say “5 signs you’re tired” while racking up millions of views.
  
• Live streams where someone just eats fried chicken slowly, while virtual gifts rain down like confetti—gifts that magically turn into cash.
  

Apparently, that’s not self-promotion. That’s content.

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The Hypocrisy of Attention

The irony dripped like condensation on an overpriced ring light. Thoughtful posts about connection? Deleted. But half-hearted dances done in perfect lighting? Monetized.

The platform claimed to champion “authenticity,” but only if authenticity could be packaged into thirty seconds and sponsored by an energy drink.

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The Reflection That Lived On

The banned user’s words spread anyway, screenshot by screenshot, whispered in private chats. People said, “Hey, this was actually deep. Why was it banned?”

And maybe that was the real self-promotion: not for a person, not for a brand, but for the simple act of thinking out loud in a space that only pretended to value voices.

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Moral of the Story: On social media, sincerity is suspicious, but staged spontaneity is currency.

In a parallel Malaysia, the government unveiled its proudest institution yet: the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia (MCM). Their slogan?
“If you can see it, we probably can’t.”

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The Birth of MCM

The ministry was created after a heated debate in Parliament when one MP accidentally read a meme out loud. Shocked by the chaos it caused—three politicians laughed, one snorted, and another googled what a “Shrekcore” was—the government decided immediate censorship was the only solution.

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Daily Operations

The MCM office is a buzzing hive of activity:

• The Red Pen Division: Trains staff to black-bar text on newspapers so aggressively that headlines read like ransom notes.
  
• The Emoji Task Force: Specializes in replacing “inappropriate” words with random emojis. The public is still confused why the phrase “fuel subsidy” now appears as 🐸🍕.
  
• The Meme Patrol: Officers patrol social media, ready to arrest any cat video that doesn’t promote “national values.”
  

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The Great Bans

Some of MCM’s most notable bans include:
– A movie because the villain looked too relatable.
– A cookbook because one recipe suggested free-range eggs, which sounded politically suspicious.
– An entire calendar year (2013), because it contained “unfortunate vibes.”

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Public Reactions

Most citizens have adapted. Some now read between the blacked-out lines, while others form underground clubs to swap uncensored karaoke lyrics. A black market thrives, trading in forbidden items like unedited Wikipedia pages and old Spongebob episodes.

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The Future of MCM

MCM’s five-year plan includes censoring silence (too political), clouds (too vague), and possibly themselves. When asked how that would work, the minister replied, “We’ll let you know after we redact the answer.”

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In conclusion, the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia is proof that in some universes, bureaucracy is so powerful it can even edit reality itself.

Welcome to Uni-as-a-Subscription™, where education is optional, XP is mandatory, and self-promotion is basically a degree requirement.

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How It Works

• Subscribe for RM9.99/month (first month)
  
• Next month RM999.99 (Advanced Overlord Features)
  
• Cancel anytime — yes, even during finals
  
• Classes are optional, but XP is your new GPA
  

Every task, discussion, and assignment is gamified: think Duolingo meets Hogwarts meets esports.

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Choose Your AI Assistant 🤖

Every student gets three AI options:
– Free: Basically a smart calculator that cries silently when you fail.
– Basic: Can explain concepts in memes and GIFs.
– Pro: Writes your assignments, gives motivational speeches, and roasts your procrastination habits.

AI choice affects XP boosts, meme-quality of submissions, and your chances of surviving group projects.

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Earn XP, Level Up, and Survive 🏆

• Solve theory problems = +50 XP
  
• Complete practical exercises = +100 XP
  
• Daily streaks = +10% XP multiplier
  
• Participate in discussions = +25 XP
  
• Attend lectures (optional but dramatic) = +5 XP per “ugh I have to go” sigh
  

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Live Streaming Privileges 🎥

• Gain 50 followers to unlock entry-level live streaming
  
• Upgrade live streaming levels based on:
  
  • Attention received
    
  • Knowledge taught to viewers
    
  • Charisma and ability to meme
    
  • Virtual currencies gifted by fans
    

Live streaming rewards include extra XP, gems, and occasionally a virtual gold star from the Dean NPC.

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Gems, Power-Ups, and Absurd Perks 💎

• Buy gems to resurrect from failed exams
  
• Skip boring lectures with “instant comprehension” power-ups
  
• Unlock special hats, badges, and pets that boost your XP
  
• Limited-time “Professor NPC skins” for cosplay XP bonuses
  

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Social and Self-Promotion Economy 📢

• Self-promotion is mandatory:
  
  • Post achievements, assignment grades, and attitude updates
    
  • Recruit classmates for guilds to tackle mega-assignments
    
• Platforms are flooded with:
  
  • “Look how many XP I earned!” posts
    
  • “See my AI assistant beat the lab boss!” updates
    
  • “I’m now an Assignment Member! Vote for me to lead your project!”
    

Basically, everyone promotes themselves constantly, while secretly checking if their XP leaderboard position went up.

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Classes and Side Quests

• STEM: Build rockets in VR, solve math puzzles, hack quantum computers
  
• Humanities: Debate historical figures who definitely don’t exist, craft essay memes
  
• Life Skills: Cooking, budgeting, surviving group projects without dying
  
• Random Bonus Quest: Meme battle competitions, coffee-fetching side quests, and “Find the hidden syllabus” scavenger hunts
  

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The Absurd Reality

In Uni-as-a-Subscription™, your reputation is a currency, your attention is literally money, and your XP might get you more followers than your actual social life.

Fail a test? Respawn.
Skip a lecture? Your AI assistant cries silently.
Post a self-promoting story? Congratulations, you earned a “brag badge” and 50 XP.

Education has never been this flexible, absurd, or full of virtual applause. 🎓✨

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Uni-as-a-Subscription™: Where learning is a game, self-promotion is a lifestyle, and surviving the attention economy is a full-time quest.

Ever wanted to shop markets inside a market? No? Too bad, it’s now a thing.

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Buy One Market, Get One Free 🎁

• First month: RM9.99
  
• Second month: RM999.99
  
• No commitment. Cancel anytime!
  
• Upgrade to remove ads: RM49.99 (because even markets hate interruptions)
  

Yes, you heard that right. One minute you’re browsing fresh produce, the next minute you’re in the Market of Markets, a place so meta it sells markets like snack packs.

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What’s Inside?

Every market has its own aisles, vendors, and weirdly specific currencies:

• Attention Economy Market 👀💸
  Choose your vendor wisely:

  • RM1 = 1 “ha” (laugh)
    
  • RM100 = 100x “ha” (laugh)
    
  • Subscribe to your vendor for 50% off attention prices!
    

• Organic Idea Market 🌱💡
  Trade your thoughts for inspiration. Warning: some ideas are slightly expired.

• Luxury Meme Market 🖼️💎
  Buy rare memes, or just rent them. Includes optional NFT tags if you like showing off in your Zoom calls.

• Mystery Discount Market ❓💰
  Spin the wheel, see what you get. Maybe a coupon for RM0.99, maybe a “Sorry we ran out of discounts” card.

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Why Everyone Loves It

• You can literally buy a market, inside a market, inside a bigger market.
  
• Prices make absolutely no sense, but somehow it’s charming.
  
• Perfect for people who want to feel like they’re investing without risk, or gambling without regret.
  

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Customer Testimonial

“I bought the Attention Economy Market for RM9.99. One week later I had 437 ‘ha’s and my cat became mildly impressed. Totally worth it.” – Some Shopper

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Fine Print (Or Not)

• Markets may or may not exist in physical form.
  
• Some markets contain sub-markets, which contain sub-sub-markets, which may contain… another Market of Markets.
  
• “Cancel anytime” applies only if your subscription form is legible.
  
• Upgrades are optional but recommended if you hate pop-up vendors yelling at you to “click here for another market!”
  

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In short: why buy one product when you can buy a whole ecosystem of products pretending to be products?
Welcome to the Market of Markets. 🛒✨

In a twist of bureaucratic genius, Malaysia introduced MACC²: the Anti-Corruption Commission designed to investigate… the Anti-Corruption Commission.

Their motto?
“Who watches the watchers? Us. Until someone else watches us.”

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Why MACC² Exists

The idea was born when an ordinary citizen asked on social media:

“What if the Anti-Corruption Commission is corrupt?”

Parliament panicked. After three days of silence, twelve committee meetings, and one very awkward meme of Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man, the government created MACC².

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How It Works

MACC² is headquartered directly across the street from MACC¹, with binoculars permanently mounted on the rooftop. Their operations include:

• Coffee Receipt Audits: Every kopi-o claimed on an expense report is inspected for suspicious foam levels.
  
• File Cabinet Surveillance: MACC² officers count how many times MACC¹ officers open the same drawer in a day.
  
• Meeting Transcripts: All “confidential” MACC¹ meetings are re-transcribed by MACC² stenographers, then censored by the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia (MCM).
  

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Early Achievements

Within the first six months, MACC² proudly reported:
– Catching one MACC¹ officer stealing staplers.
– Exposing an “illicit teh tarik fund” used for karaoke nights.
– Accusing an entire department of “overusing bold fonts” in PowerPoints.

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Public Reactions

The people are divided. Some praise MACC² for finally holding power accountable. Others note that MACC² officers are already driving suspiciously shiny new cars. A new citizen group has started lobbying for the inevitable: MACC³.

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The Future of MACC²

Plans are underway to expand oversight. Rumors swirl about the creation of MACC².5, a temporary task force designed to make sure MACC² doesn’t accidentally become friends with MACC¹.

When asked if this endless chain of oversight might itself be a waste of funds, the MACC² spokesperson responded:

“We’ll set up a commission to investigate that.”

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And thus, Malaysia enters a golden era of accountability, where every eye is watched by another eye… until the lights go out.

Tourists come to Sabah for the beaches, the mountains, and—most famously—the roads that look like they were designed by Swiss cheese architects.

Locals say the potholes aren’t a problem; they’re heritage sites. In fact, a whole folklore has developed around them.

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The Great Pothole Festival

Every year, villagers gather to decorate the biggest pothole with fairy lights and bunga raya petals. The mayor gives a speech:
> “Our leaders may not build smooth roads, but at least they provide us with… depth.”

Kids jump in with rubber boots. Foreign tourists mistake it for an infinity pool.

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Unique Transportation

Driving in Sabah is not just commuting—it’s an extreme sport.

• Motorcyclists have perfected the zigzag ballet, weaving around craters like dancers avoiding stage traps.
  
• Car owners proudly say, “My suspension didn’t survive last year’s rainy season, but my spirit did.”
  
• Grab drivers now charge extra for what they call “the rollercoaster experience.”
  

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Leaders’ Contribution

Sabah’s leaders insist the potholes are intentional features.

• One minister claimed, “They collect rainwater, so technically we solved two problems: water storage and road maintenance.”
  
• Another said, “Potholes slow drivers down. It’s road safety innovation!”
  
• The tourism board has rebranded highways as “Adventure Tracks.”
  

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International Recognition

Rumors say UNESCO is considering Sabah’s potholes for World Heritage status. Criteria: uniqueness, resilience, and the ability to turn every 10-minute drive into a 40-minute saga.

A viral travel guide even calls Sabah “The Land Below the Windshield Cracks.”

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Conclusion

While other states brag about skyscrapers or smooth expressways, Sabah stands tall—or rather, sits deep—in its proud identity. The potholes aren’t just holes. They’re symbols of patience, humor, and leaders who somehow convinced everyone that bad roads are a cultural treasure.

Tired of old-fashioned owning or renting a house? That’s so 20th century.
Welcome to the future of living: House-as-a-Subscription™.

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💳 Flexible Pricing

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Cancel anytime! No commitment! Just pack up your memories and we’ll repo the walls.

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🚀 Why Choose House-as-a-Subscription™?

• No contracts, just vibes.
  
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📢 Limited-Time Launch Offer

Sign up now and get one free backyard tree (randomly generated species).
Upgrade to Ultra Premium and we’ll throw in a driveway with actual asphalt!

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House-as-a-Subscription™: because shelter should be as disposable as your Spotify playlist.