Malaysia’s Anti-Corruption Commission for Malaysia’s Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC²)
In a twist of bureaucratic genius, Malaysia introduced MACC²: the Anti-Corruption Commission designed to investigate… the Anti-Corruption Commission.
Their motto?
“Who watches the watchers? Us. Until someone else watches us.”
Why MACC² Exists
The idea was born when an ordinary citizen asked on social media:
“What if the Anti-Corruption Commission is corrupt?”
Parliament panicked. After three days of silence, twelve committee meetings, and one very awkward meme of Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man, the government created MACC².
How It Works
MACC² is headquartered directly across the street from MACC¹, with binoculars permanently mounted on the rooftop. Their operations include:
- Coffee Receipt Audits: Every kopi-o claimed on an expense report is inspected for suspicious foam levels.
- File Cabinet Surveillance: MACC² officers count how many times MACC¹ officers open the same drawer in a day.
- Meeting Transcripts: All “confidential” MACC¹ meetings are re-transcribed by MACC² stenographers, then censored by the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia (MCM).
Early Achievements
Within the first six months, MACC² proudly reported:
– Catching one MACC¹ officer stealing staplers.
– Exposing an “illicit teh tarik fund” used for karaoke nights.
– Accusing an entire department of “overusing bold fonts” in PowerPoints.
Public Reactions
The people are divided. Some praise MACC² for finally holding power accountable. Others note that MACC² officers are already driving suspiciously shiny new cars. A new citizen group has started lobbying for the inevitable: MACC³.
The Future of MACC²
Plans are underway to expand oversight. Rumors swirl about the creation of MACC².5, a temporary task force designed to make sure MACC² doesn’t accidentally become friends with MACC¹.
When asked if this endless chain of oversight might itself be a waste of funds, the MACC² spokesperson responded:
“We’ll set up a commission to investigate that.”
And thus, Malaysia enters a golden era of accountability, where every eye is watched by another eye… until the lights go out.
