The Ministry of Censorship Malaysia (MCM): A Totally Serious Agency
In a parallel Malaysia, the government unveiled its proudest institution yet: the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia (MCM). Their slogan?
“If you can see it, we probably can’t.”
The Birth of MCM
The ministry was created after a heated debate in Parliament when one MP accidentally read a meme out loud. Shocked by the chaos it caused—three politicians laughed, one snorted, and another googled what a “Shrekcore” was—the government decided immediate censorship was the only solution.
Daily Operations
The MCM office is a buzzing hive of activity:
- The Red Pen Division: Trains staff to black-bar text on newspapers so aggressively that headlines read like ransom notes.
- The Emoji Task Force: Specializes in replacing “inappropriate” words with random emojis. The public is still confused why the phrase “fuel subsidy” now appears as 🐸🍕.
- The Meme Patrol: Officers patrol social media, ready to arrest any cat video that doesn’t promote “national values.”
The Great Bans
Some of MCM’s most notable bans include:
– A movie because the villain looked too relatable.
– A cookbook because one recipe suggested free-range eggs, which sounded politically suspicious.
– An entire calendar year (2013), because it contained “unfortunate vibes.”
Public Reactions
Most citizens have adapted. Some now read between the blacked-out lines, while others form underground clubs to swap uncensored karaoke lyrics. A black market thrives, trading in forbidden items like unedited Wikipedia pages and old Spongebob episodes.
The Future of MCM
MCM’s five-year plan includes censoring silence (too political), clouds (too vague), and possibly themselves. When asked how that would work, the minister replied, “We’ll let you know after we redact the answer.”
In conclusion, the Ministry of Censorship Malaysia is proof that in some universes, bureaucracy is so powerful it can even edit reality itself.
