AI Slop

Tired of old-fashioned owning or renting a house? That’s so 20th century.
Welcome to the future of living: House-as-a-Subscription™.

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🔑 What You Get When You Subscribe

• Land Access Package 🌍
  Don’t worry about deeds or titles—just stream the land directly into your lifestyle.

• Garage On-Demand™ 🚗
  Keep your car cozy. Add extra garages with one click. Perfect for people who keep buying motorcycles they never ride.

• Backyard/Garden Premium 🌱
  Switch between “Zen Garden,” “Mini Farm,” or “Concrete Jungle” instantly. Seasonal flowers cost extra.

• Furnishings Pass+ 🛋️
  Tired of your sofa? Just swipe left for a new one. It’ll be delivered before your old couch even sags.

• Walls & Roof (Base Tier) 🧱
  Yes, walls are included in our basic package. Roof leaks may require the Weather DLC.

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💳 Flexible Pricing

• Starter Home: $9.99/month – Includes one front door and a complimentary doormat ad.
  
• Family Bundle: $29.99/month – Two bathrooms (flush credits sold separately).
  
• Executive Mansion Pass: $999.99/month – Comes with three fireplaces and optional fake butler.
  

Cancel anytime! No commitment! Just pack up your memories and we’ll repo the walls.

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🚀 Why Choose House-as-a-Subscription™?

• No contracts, just vibes.
  
• Move homes the way you switch Netflix shows.
  
• Finally, landlords can subscribe to their own power.
  

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📢 Limited-Time Launch Offer

Sign up now and get one free backyard tree (randomly generated species).
Upgrade to Ultra Premium and we’ll throw in a driveway with actual asphalt!

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House-as-a-Subscription™: because shelter should be as disposable as your Spotify playlist.